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Do Something Everyday That Scares You

Aside | | Beth James

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Everyday we have the opportunity to scare ourselves or in better words do something out of our comfort zones. That doesn’t have to mean base-jumping or jumping out of a plane, because who has time for that everyday!

But it is important to do little things to show your self that you are capable. Most of the time you will start doing something and realise it is a lot easier than you thought it would be.

Most recently for me, I get so scared about walking to the other side of the gym, the dark side. Where the boys go and grunt and look at them selves in the mirror. But I get so uninspired by hours of cardio and sticking to the matt surrounded by a myriad of small colourful girly weights and Swiss balls.

So what do I do? stay where its safe?

No, I’ve become quite stubborn, I don’t like the idea that there is a whole area and a different method of working out, which I dont do because I’m  ‘too scared’. So every time I don my lycra I push past the worry and strut across to the big boy weights, like a strong girl in the know! I pretend to be any way!

The funny thing is, I get scared because I think that the boys would laugh at me, because I’m lifting smaller weights and other riduculous things like that. But most of them are so self-absorbed they don’t even care, or notice I’m there! So plug those headphones in, get those tunes on and get involved, it’ll make you feel better. If your proud of yourself after, then you’ve done the right thing.

Or if you’re not a gym bunny, there will be something, that you would like to be better at, dedicate at least 5 minutes to it a day! A bit of yoga, set your self a push-up challenge, drawing, it could be saying no to people, who ask to much of you. It could be anything that is a bit of a challenge for you but something that you know, you would love to be good at!

 My lovely boyfriend for example, He is very stubborn man. He decided one day that he would like to be able to a handstand, so little by little he practiced and practiced and now whenever and wherever he can sure enough he will be showing off his impressive hand standing skills!

 I would love to get him doing yoga; he would be so good at it! But he is an incredible example of just getting on with it and progressing. His motto is every little helps!

I do the same with yoga, and I set myself reading challenges as I would love to read faster. Trying to better yourself can be a powerful activity, give it a go, don’t do it for anyone else but you.

 It doesn’t have to be something you practice everyday either it could be just standing up for you self a little more, Is there someone who pushes you around, or takes advantage a little too much, then don’t let them take your power.

If it scares you to stand up for yourself, build your confidence and stick up for yourself. Use self-affirmation and don’t worry about what other people think of you. If they don’t respect you for doing the right thing for yourself then they are probably not worth it. They are probably a drain.

 I decided a long time ago that there are two types of people: DRAINS & RADIATORS.

 Drains just channel shit and drama; they come in to your life cause shit then move on to cause trouble somewhere else. Don’t hang on to these people, let them do their thing. They might be pleasant enough but just cause too much hassle to invest in.

 Radiators will keep you warm, these are the people you really connect with, these people you will form proper relationships with, that will be there for you even if you move to the other side of the world, or not talk to them for 10 years!

 It’s pretty easy to categorize your friends or colleagues in this way, you just have to ask your self would they stick their neck out for you if you needed it? Yes? Then Radiator, if not than drain. If you’ve decided drain then don’t worry about them too much. Who knows they might suddenly start to make more of an effort and prove themselves to be a secret radiator!

But if not then their loss, they will just flow on to the next U-bend!

 What I am saying is that you need to do things for yourself, the little things, increasing our knowledge and skills are an amazing way to learn and progress.

If you are like me and need a little confidence going to the dark side of the gym check out this lovely lady Erica, she lost a whopping 120 Ibs in 13 months! she is a huge inspiration for me. She has also written some mighty cool Ebooks which were super cheap and inspired me heaps, so if you need a little push grab her ebooks!

 http://ericafitlove.com/

Beth’s Guide To Manifesting your Goals

| Beth James

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I’ve said in the last few posts that I use visualization to get what I want from my life.

Well that’s all well and good, but how??I hear you say!How am I supposed to apply that to my life!?Well don’t get disgruntled!

 I have had a think and have complied a little guide to manifesting your goals through visualization.

♥ Beth’s Guide To Manifesting your Goals ♥

 

Step 1. Use all your senses! When you’re visualizing the life you want use sounds, sight and even smell!

Imaging where and how you want to be think about what sort of sounds, and smells you will experience!

If you are visualizing going away, being on a quiet island listen to gentle waves and visualize the sand between your toes. Feel the emotions that you will feel when you have achieved your goals. Let them posses you. This will make it feel more really and believable to you, you need to take the dream element out of it and have total faith that it will happen.

Step 2. Take different angles when visualizing, for example firstly imagine yourself how you want to be, then imagine yourself once you have reached your goal from the eyes of a friend, or even someone who doesn’t know you and hasn’t seen your transformation.

I guarantee that it will make you feel wonderful! Or imagine your transformation from the eyes of someone who doubted you, someone you don’t see ‘eye to eye’ with! Imagine that feeling!

 

Step 3. Begin to life your live as if you had already succeeded in your dreams!

How would you dress? Talk? And think about the world around you? Would you be more positive? Would you worry less? Have a think about how you would change and begin the process.

Begin to talk like the new and improved you, begin to shift your thinking as if you are already the successful person you want to be!

If you have a bad day or a bad thought, let it wash over you and forget it, everyday is an opportunity to start a fresh. Everyday is a step towards your goal.

 

Step 4. Big yourself up all the time! Affirmations!

Think about what people will say about you, behind your back, in a good WAY dont thik about any other way,

‘Wow she is glowing’ ‘I can’t believe she has lost so much weight’ ‘Or isn’t Beth so lucky she has the man of her dreams’ ‘It must be so easy for Beth, she just attracts money!’ what ever it may be for you, Thoughts like that can be very positive. I do it all the time; it definitely makes me feel better!

Whatever you want in your life think it into reality. Visualize people coming to you asking you for advice on the things you want! ‘How did you lose weight?’ ‘How did you get the confidence to run a marathon’ Etc

Always big yourself up, write it down, write about how you love your ability to make friends or attract money into your life! Say it out loud to yourself in the mirror.

In The Master Key System a book by Charles Haanel he talks about personal affirmations, the one he suggest I think is wonderful and I have incorporated into my life.

The affirmation is: I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy! Say it loud, say it proud! Even if you don’t believe you will eventually start to!

 

Step 5. GRATITUDE!!

Get in the attitude of gratitude! Once you are thankful for the things that you have, you will receive more of those things. Start the day with gratitude; be thankful for the day ahead.

Be thankful for your strong body or your ability to learn or to read fast etc anything that is relevant to you.

Remember that what you focus on you bring about; try not to complain about the elements of your life you don’t like, focus instead on those elements that you do and attract similar situations and the bad things will just fade away!

I personally have a gratitude book, which I write in most days and it helps me to focus my thoughts on what I want in my life. I put down everything that I am grateful for in my life. Every time I write those things down and put pen to paper it puts me in a good mood, it helps me to visualize and attract more good feelings to myself.

Step 6. A Vision Board, make yourself a vision board!

They are such a powerful and useful tools, find pictures and symbols of the things that you want and situations you want to attract into your life.

It doesn’t have to be big you could have a few different ones for different areas of your life.

The most important thing is that you look at it a lot, so whether you make a virtual one on your computer and make sure you look at it everyday, or you make one that you put in your bedroom so you see it everyday, it doesn’t matter! Whatever works best for you, but they are incredibility powerful to help you repeatedly focus on your goals!

John Assaraf in the Secret movie talks about his visions board, He tells the story of his vision boards being packed away in boxes for 5 years whilst he was moving. The boxes where brought to his new house and his son asked what was in them, he explained that they were his vision boards. His son didn’t really understand what he meant, so he got them out the boxes. As he took picked one of the boards out he started to cry, because there was a house on one of his boards that was the house, the very house that he had just bought!!!! He hadn’t even realized that it was the same house; He had attracted his dream house and not even realized!!

Remember to look at your board and feel the feelings of already having achieved your goals! That is what will help bring them closer to you.

Happy Manifesting!

This Is My Story

| Beth James

‘Losers Visualise The Penalties of Failure, Winners Visualise the Rewards of Success’

William S. Gilbert.

This is My Story

When I was 14, I reached my heaviest weight. It happened through comfort eating and a lack of self-esteem. I had lost control of food and my sense of self. That sounds like a heavy thing to be said about a fourteen year old, right? But it truly was a dark time. I became very depressed, I didn’t want to be the person that I had become and I focused on my hatred of my self all the time. I would have these strong feelings of failure and disgust. Feelings that a fourteen year old shouldn’t even understand fully let alone have passionately for themselves. What’s worse is that as a child I fully believed in these feelings, and the constant focus brought nothing more but bad situations which made, more of the same feelings.

I was full of excuses.

I would blame everybody but my self for the situation I was in. I had so little faith in myself, and I didn’t believe I could do anything about it, I constantly feared that I would always feel this way about my self.

And I think being an emotional teenager only exacerbated the situation.

Its almost funny how different people and situations affect you at different times. As supportive people who would see past the flaws I found in myself and loved me for the person always surrounded me I was. But it wasn’t until someone new entered my life with a new perspective on health and fitness, that I really got the idea in my head that this wasn’t me, this is who I used to be. My situation right now is only the results of my old thoughts and actions. ‘I CAN CHANGE’. But do you know why this person helped me? Because they knew about my struggle and still turned around and said “So what, you can do it, be whoever you want to be, its all in your head, Just do it”

This is a hard thing to hear, especially when your 14 and your troubles and excuses consume you, but nobody had ever said anything to me like that before, especially not in such a ‘no shit’ way. It made me think that I was not going to get anywhere from just being the victim. No one will want to be friends with, love or employ someone who constantly feels victimized by the world,

‘Why is this happening to me! No body loves me! Things never go right for me! I cant do that I will fail, I have no experience in that, I’m no good at that” ETC

So that character in my life helped me to shift those negative feelings and made me think for the first time that I can succeed, I will change my situation, my life is going to be everything I want and more.

That’s how I changed from this:

Beth aged 14

Me aged 14.

Very unhappy and unhealthy. Full of self-hate and no self esteem.

To This

Bali 2013

 Me aged 22, In Bali 2013 , If you had told me at 14 that I would grow up to be

A. Not Obese B. In Bali And C. Driving around on a bike with my arms uncovered I would have thought you were mad!

People often ask me how did I do it?

And of course it was a matter of eating less and exercise more, but there was also the huge mental hurdle to over come to.

I have spent the last 10 years disconnecting myself from that person that I once was. To succeed and hit my goals I had to change my physical appearance but I also had to replace my bad habits with good habits. I had to replace those unproductive thoughts with ones, which pushed me on, that inspired me. Otherwise I would fall back into the dark place.

I replaced my sedentary life style with one that progressively became more active; I began to face my fears head on. I read once that people don’t try new things, as they are scared that they might be bad at them. But what is the worst that could happen what if you are bad or you fail, someone might laugh at you, but chances are it will be worth it, you will either be better the next time or even if it was the worst experience of your life at least you did it, you walked through the door and you challenged yourself.

Picasso once said that he actively pursed things, that he wasn’t any good at so he would inevetablely get better and there wouldn’t be anything he couldn’t do!

“I am always doing

That, which I cannot do,

In order that I may learn how to do it.”

                            Picasso

Laird Hamilton (one of the worlds best big wave surfers and general awesome guy) says the

‘Trying new things keeps you perpetually young’

                                           Laird Hamilton 

Always on the hunt for the next exciting situation. He says that

‘Seeking out things you’re not good at: it forces your mind to engage.”

                                         Laird Hamilton

The unknown keeps you humble, not knowing what your doing is connected with innocence and being young, and of course failure is and option, but the chances are that you will learn more by doing more than you will fail.

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.” 

Henry Ford

I think fear of the unknown and resentment held me back for so long, the notion that I might not get to my goals, that I might fail, ‘what if someone sees me’ I was controlled by my fear for so long. But I think back now to those things that I was so fearful of, and they don’t even cross my mind now, I am a completely different person.

Once I had got over my fear, one of the most powerful tools that I used during my journey was something that I had known about for a long time but never really took very seriously or fully understood.

VISUALIZATION!

To make visible, to form a mental image of.

“Whatever you hold in your mind, on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life” 

                            Anthony Robbins

It is so powerful that it shapes the world in which we all live in, whether you believe it or not.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t-you’re right.” Henry Ford

I used visualization everyday to change my world, once I got the idea in my head I could hold the image of what I wanted and have absolute faith that it will happen, and 9 out of 10 times these things would move in to place easily. And don’t confuse the word faith, with religion; I don’t label my beliefs with another person’s perception. But faith is very important for this process to work, try directing some towards yourself now and again.

FAITH – Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

I used visualization to picture my perfect body.

I would imaging everything from being a smaller clothes size to being able to move my body in a different way, I would lie in bed and think about going in to shops and buying a pair of jeans and being able to pull them on easily with no problems. I would think about being able to wear just a t-shirt with jeans with no cover, a cardigan or a jacket. (For a good few years I would wear jackets and cardigans to hide in, I thought that they gave me shape and I would never take them off.)

Bikinis! Short dresses, I envisaged long lean legs, with sculptured arms and back.

I has taken me a long time to re adjust my thinking, for ages I would think about and feel such jealousy towards people who would be able to sit around and eat a ton and never put on any weight, but its actually quite rare that people can do that. What I’ve realized is that people who often do that wont eat very much during the day, or they expend a lot of energy. Or they might just be lucky but either way it will catch up to them.

I began to visualize much more powerful and positive things such as me being at the gym working out, being completely at ease not worrying about anyone else and oozing confidence.

I’d think about going for a run.

I began to think about things that I knew would be good and healthy for my body I pictured myself enjoying the process, I saw myself noticing the results, my jeans being to big or receiving compliments

It actually became ritual because it made me feel so good, when I was visualization I was producing feelings of happiness and wellness within myself. When I was consumed by these feelings I would help me make the right decisions, which would propel me further towards my goals. It was only when I found my self in low moods that my thoughts would spiral and I’d find it so much easier to get sabotaged, and eat away my sorrows.

But I would find it much easier to swing my thoughts to something more positive by sitting down and visualization where I want to be.  HOWEVER! There are always days when I lose track and all I want to do is sit around and eat! Sometimes I give myself those days or sometimes I see it as more of a challenge and resist it.

I have realized most of my goals and have achieved things that I had never though possible, and I still have a way to go yet! You could argue that its taken me a long time, and i’m not perfect and there are still things that I haven’t achieved, but the sometimes I still have to remind myself how far I have come. It can be easy to get discouraged when you’re reaching for your goals and lose faith and momentum but I found that usually your goals or dream situation could be just around that corner.

“Twenty Years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

EXPLORE.DREAM.DISCOVER”

                                              Mark Twain

‘I would visual…

Quote | | Beth James

‘I would visualise things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. Thats the thing, you cant just visualise and go eat a sandwich’

Jim Carrey

I love this quote, apart from the fact that Jim Carey said it, cause you gotta love him! But also because visualisation, I believe can be a very powerful motivational tool to inspire yourself. But you also need to get off your bum and do it, you can’t sit and enjoy the perfect image of yourself that you create, then think ‘oo wouldn’t that be nice, right so whats for lunch?’ or expect to get fitter, from sitting around doing nothing, it’s the same principle. When the inspiration hits! Get up and go! and enjoy it, love it with every fibre of your being!